Love Like You Mean It by Bob Lepine

Author:Bob Lepine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Religion/Christian Living/Love & Marriage
Publisher: B&H Publishing Group
Published: 2020-07-07T00:00:00+00:00

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It was sad news for anyone who had come of age during the latter half of the 1900s. On July 3, 2019, Mad magazine announced that after almost seventy years of tutoring an audience made up of mostly young males in snark and sarcasm, the magazine had printed its final edition.

I subscribed to Mad magazine when I was in my early teens. I read the magazine cover to cover. I was particularly fond of one recurring feature: Al Jaffe’s “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.” Mr. Jaffe made an art form out of what we used to call “the put-down.” He would create a cartoon where one person asked a question with an obvious answer. He would then offer his readers a choice of three possible “snappy answers” for the question, along with a space where the reader could provide his own retort.

I remember one cartoon panel that showed a woman sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office that had four or five No Smoking signs prominently displayed. She pulled out a cigarette and lighter and asked the office manager, “Mind if I smoke?” While I don’t remember all three possible responses, the one that has stuck with me since my days in junior high was, “Why? Are you on fire?”

In my home, teasing and humor were expressions of endearment. Our poking at each other was playful and not mean-spirited. We expressed our love for one another by being witty and clever.

But sarcasm and teasing were not a big part of the family of origin of my wife, Mary Ann. And that created an interesting dynamic when we got married. I didn’t understand why my new wife wasn’t charmed and warmed by my witty responses to her questions. I was not prepared to see tears in response to what I regarded as playful banter.

The apostle Peter tells husbands that we are to live with our wives “in an understanding way” (1 Pet. 3:7). In fact, he says that a failure to do so will affect the way God responds to our prayers. I’ve had to learn over time that even my well-intentioned words can be misunderstood. I can wound my wife even when what I’m trying to do is express affection. I can be rude even when that’s not my intent.

Being rude seems like such a little thing, doesn’t it?

Most of us think that the opposite of rudeness is politeness. A rude person is someone who doesn’t use good manners. It’s someone who doesn’t wait until everyone has been served before starting to eat. Or someone who burps after a meal (or in some Asian cultures, someone who doesn’t burp).

When the Bible says love is not rude, it is talking about something more than adhering to a set of social graces. The word for rude is a Greek word that can be used for a wide range of behavior, from bad manners to shameful acts. Alexander Strauch offers a long list of actions that might

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